"My students found me on Facebook, and now they want to add me..." I laughed at the idea as though it's a crazy thing, but secretly I was hoping for a direction.
"Add them lah!" Papa replied positively without hesitation.
Perhaps I think too much, because this is new to me. You see, I was afraid of adding my students on Facebook because of fear. Fear of saying the wrong things publicly; fear of exposing my life to them, etc. But then Papa's response made me realize that I shouldn't be afraid. What is there to be afraid of? I'm an advocator of technology in education and here I am, fretting whether or not I should add my students on Facebook.
Conducted a Mac training at International Islamic University of Malaysia the other day. The journey to IIUM was a breeze with DUKE highway! Located beautifully around a mountain backdrop, IIUM is such a beautiful place to be at. Unlike most modern universities, there's nothing fancy about IIUM's interior and corridors; walking up the stairs transported me back to primary and high school days. However, walking through the corridor while looking at the surrounding building facade really gives you a feeling as though you're in another country. Maybe it's the morning mountain mist, I don't know, but there's an air of peace at this University.
The Dean and Lecturer I was providing training to spoke excellent English (it was only then I learn that IIUM uses English as main Language medium) and I really enjoyed the day. We even spent a few moments on iPad, something that was definitely not in the syllabus, lol! :D
I'm pretty drained out right now but my mind is recollecting all the stuff that happened recently, especially today. I just feel that I need to unload these memories and archive it in this lil' blog of mine. If only I had something like Dumbledore's pensieve, a 'magical' basin where he store his memories from time to time, just in case he forgets, or just in case he needs to recall an event. If I had a pensieve, I wouldn't need to type blog entries anymore, lol.
Of Crossing Out Another Item On My Bucket List
First thing first, remember when I blogged about this? Just when I accepted my fate, I got a call after Chinese New Year that I got the part time Lecturer position. I'm truly blessed. God is really gracious to me. I lecture 3 times a week, and this arrangement is more than I can ever ask for. I'm still able to help dad with his business, and also spend time developing VIP. Some people wonder if I can cope with so many things... I wonder too, but I realized that I am more productive if I have different nature of tasks to accomplish. Maybe it's the Saggitarius in me, but I kinda get bored with doing one thing at a time. Multitasking is how I roll baby *wink*
When people say you have to work to keep the love and spark alive, they're not kidding. BY and I have had many heated arguments of late. It always difficult and tricky to handle, but I think it's healthy to have arguments and disagreements in a relationship. Why do people get frustrated or angry at another person? I think it's just because you've yet reach an understanding. You don't hate the person, you just don't understand the person yet. The path to reach an understanding is challenging, but once you do, you move one step further in life; you get more wiser. I've learnt many things recently:
1. Being brutally honest with your feelings with your other half; like Simon-Cowell-honesty: if you're not honest with the person, if you can't accept the not-so-nice-to-hear comments and feedbacks, you can't improve and get on with life. The faster you realize that you don't have forever; the faster you realize that time doesn't wait; the faster you grow up and mature, then the less time you waste. I've gotta admit that I admire BY for always being sooooo honest with me. When it comes to personal matters, I never had the guts to voice it out. But nowadays, I have the courage to do so because of him (sometimes I wonder if he regrets encouraging me to voice out my disagreements cuz at times I do feel like a pain in his butt, lol)
2. Putting aside ego; taking a step back and say sorry when you're wrong. I find it difficult to say sorry ever since I'm young, but now, it's important for me that the other person know I'm sorry, and that I regret something that I said or did.
3. Always making effort to meet half way.
Of Achingly Missing My Gramps
It's been close to four months since my grandparents left. How time flies. There isn't a day where I don't think about them. I always spend a few moments to remember how my mama calls my name, how she looks at me, how she purse her lips to show her disagreement, how she laughs... I always think about how ah gong looks at me, the times when we are together. I recalled the day he brought me to open my very first savings account when I was 12 years old; I look through pictures on my phone, taken a few weeks before he passed on. I think about them when I'm driving, before I sleep, when I'm awake, up and about. Basically all the time. The feeling has finally sinked in-they are gone. I've dreamt of mama twice so far, but have yet dreamt of ah gong. I cry because I wished I could do more when they were alive. I wished I was 27 years old 6 years ago, so that I'm matured enough and wise enough to help them more. I can't cure cancer and I certainly can't magic my ah gong to walk but I just wished I was more adult, more wise. It's moments like these, that I wonder what is the meaning of life... going through painful episodes in life, falling ill, getting old and dying :(
Of Soaking In Every Moment In Life
After a long day of 'window shopping' the potential investments together, we ended the long day with a very nice dinner at the Daily Grind. Our table came with a very nice Bangsar street view. Looking at him soaking in the moment while puffing his cigarette, I felt at peace and I too, soaked in the moment.
At the age of 27, almost 60% of the my conversation with friends revolve around the topic of marriage. It's inevitable.
So, after listening to friends' stories, perspectives and also reflecting on my life, this is what I think of marriage:
I don't mind settling down at the age of 27. In fact, I feel this is the best time to go through life as husband and wife. Just the two of us; building a home, stabilizing our careers and going on adventures together. Kids will be in the picture, eventually, but perhaps that'll happen in 2-4 years time after marriage.
I don't believe in getting married just because 'it's time', 'I'm getting old', 'I just have to because she wants to' or 'just because his/her family wants us to'. I'm a hopeless romantic person; I need to believe that a person wants to marry me because he wants to take over my parent's responsibilities of taking care of me, because he is ready to care and even love my parents like his own, because he wants to build a family with me, because he wants me for life and because he is ready to put his marriage before himself. I know I would.
There's this saying which goes something along this line: "You marry a person not because you can live with or tolerate him/her; you marry a person because you can't live without him/her". I believe in that.