February 22

For our fourth year anniversary, I don't have any special gift to give you, simply because I just can't think of anything that is strong enough to represent what we have now.

I only have a few things I'd like to say to you:

The night when we decided to be together, I didn't know what the future will be like for us. Heck, I didn't even know you that well to begin with. But, it just felt right back then. I knew I had to be with this boy or I'll look back regretting one day.

Well, following your heart does pay off. We're officially together for four full years and many more to come.

The chat a few nights ago really made me see you in a different light. You have no idea what it meant to me...

For someone like me who has went through phases of extreme low self confidence and depression, speaking out and expressing my feelings is like the hardest thing to do. I never feel brave enough to share what's really going on inside of me and I always feel that I shouldn't trouble anyone with my problems. Afterall, everyone has their own affairs to sort out right? But time after time, your patience and encouragement really got me to where I am today. I never knew someone would want to hear me out as much as you do-what I think, what I feel, what I want, what I need... I'm like, 'Wow... really? You want to know that?' I know I still have a long way to go, but at least I see the light now. With other people, especially at work, you are strict and you don't tolerate weakness, yet, with me, you're so gentle and non-intrusive (hmm, suddenly it sounds like a detergent ad lol). You sense my vulnerability and understand that I need someone that will walk next to me, and not walk in front of me, rushing and urging me to hurry up. Simple things like that makes all the difference in the world. To my world.

Obviously there's so much more I wish to say to you, but as usual, special feelings like this just can't be easily written down or described in words. I just want you to know that I love you and appreciate you for who you are.

Thank you for everything you've done for me. Happy 4th Anniversary!!

The Best CNY To Date

This year's Chinese New Year feels more like Christmas to me.

To start everything off, my brother is back from UK for two weeks. This means, I didn't have to endure the first few days of CNY alone!

It was Boonyee's second CNY visit and this time round, everything felt more natural. My dad sat next to him and they immediately dived into the conversation about work and cars... typical guy-talk! :) After an hour or so, without planning, my parents, my brother and his girlfriend, Boonyee and I headed over to grandparent's place. I don't know how to describe this feeling, but it was very refreshing and pleasant for a change. We've finally made it through the next stage together... I couldn't have been happier. All these years I've been longing for a moment like this, and it finally came true.

Also during the visit, a drama broke loose (our family has been going through some tough times recently) and emotions were flying high. I thought it would be the same old story where the hate and resentment will continue to build and the problems will still remain unresolved. But, without warning, my dad grasp my aunt's arm and told her something along this line, 'I'm your brother, you're my sister. Whatever happens, you're still and always my sister!' I've never seen my dad in this state... close to breaking point and desperate for his sister to understand. This was the day I saw my dad in a different light. This was the day I saw the entire family coming together and expressing their earnest feelings-love and hope for each other. This was also the day I saw my brother as an adult-speaking sense like a matured wise man when the other adults are screaming their lungs out. It was just very touching to see all this in one day. Like, is this for real?? I thought things like this only happens in movie.

Fast forward to today. Boonyee and I had a talk, and this talk made me love him even more. I'm really thankful for him. He doesn't throw his hands up and surrender, no, this boy make things work. Which is super great because I am a person who gets defeated easily when it comes to personal emotions. I'm weak. I cry easily. I just don't know how to express my feelings face to face. When it comes to emotions, I'm immediately transformed into an idiot. But after today, I realize I have to grow up. He can't do everything alone. It's time for me to work on myself, for us. I wonder what I did to deserve someone so patient and gentle. He's my cheerleader (minus the skirt and pom-poms).

Here's a quick snapshot of my CNY so far:

Reunion Dinner!

The grandchildrens (Edwin is in Australia)

CK and hubby back for CNY! It's been two years since I last saw her.

With his friends at Library. This group consist of one soon-to-be mother (who can guess??), one married couple, one soon-to-be groom, one couple (that's us!) and two guys who came solo.

This is one of Boonyee's childhood friend's newborn. Everyone, meet Oscar.

And this really took me by surprise... Boonyee blogging? Helped him setup his first blog-boontoot.blogspot.com. Yeap, you read it right. I came up with the name by the way heheh!

Yee Sang~

Bullies

In Facebook, a video about a girl being bullied and stripped in the process caught my eye. Clicked on it, watched and felt sick in my heart.

I was a victim of school bully back in high school. Though not as bad as some of the videos posted on social networks these days, it's enough to traumatize me until today.

Gangsterism is and sadly will continue to be part and partial of high school life. It's like a passage of life for some kids-to feel cool, to feel belonged, to feel superior, to have something to occupy their time with, to give in to peer pressure, or to bully someone else before someone else bullies you,

I won't go into detail why the female bully picked on me... just in case she reads this and decides to put me through the entire situation again.

So one day, I was summoned to her class. She made me stand on a chair in front of her classmates-senior boys and girls, and started to ridicule and show her authority to me. Her classmates were sniggering and my head was faced down throughout the session. If I had a tail, it would have been in between my legs. However, she didn't touch me once. I was only abused verbally.

After I was told to leave, I cried quietly while my friend accompanied me back to class. I still remember that incident until today. And I don't think I've told anyone until now. It has always been a shameful moment in my life.

So, watching the videos of these girls being hit, being pinned down and stripped till' bare naked on the streets by other girls is just horrifying. I wished things like this never existed... human attacking another human is just wrong.