Being In Love

Some people say falling in love is easy, but staying in love is difficult. I say, when the person you love loves you back as much and as hard, staying in love is just natural.

I remember the time when BY and I had just got together. We were having a late meal after shopping at a warehouse sale. He said something along this line, 'Wah, I can't believe we're approaching our 8th month together!', to which I replied, 'Wah... you didn't think we could make it that long is it?' Then he replied, 'I never thought we could be together in the first place'.

It's been three years since that conversation.

Looking back when we first started out, no doubt it was extremely difficult, given the fact that my parents disapproved of the relationship. Frankly, at the moment of decision, I didn't know if BY and I would work out. Who can predict the future right? But one thing I knew and felt strongly was, if I am not with him, I will regret one day; I would be haunted by the 'what if' situation.

Today, I still don't know what the future holds for us. I don't even know what my own future will be like, or what tomorrow will be like. But one thing I do know is that whatever happens, good or bad, you'll be there for me, and with me.

Hip Hip Hooray!

The Hiplist is a dedicated directory of Malaysian wedding photographers, a project initiated by industry veteran Kris Wong. Though “Jasemaine Gan Photography” appears only as a classified ad, I seriously couldn't be happier and satisfied. Sharing the pages with industry gurus is just humbling... It's the same feeling when I see my name on music albums' credit list, especially the time when Jay Chou's name was just below mine in Fish Leong's Kissing the Future of Love 《亲亲》album. What a blessing. I would like to give a big shout out to Carmen for referring me to Kris. I would also like to thank Kris for being generous with his kind advices during our first meetup, and opportunities that he provided to me since.

I'm in The Hiplist! :)

Shoot Like A Pro Workshop

I had the opportunity to attend Louis Pang's Shoot Like A Pro photography workshop. It was great. I especially loved the segment where he showed us how to work with clients-how to communicate with them, how to pose them and how to make ordinary people look like cover shot models. I've always wanted to see a professional in action. The workshop was definitely an eye-opener :)

After the workshop, I even had the urge to just ask Boonyee to do a few poses for me at the carpark there and then lol. My mind was overflowed with ideas and poses which I wish to experiment! Can't wait for the next photoshoot assignment.

I have a few pictures which are pretty cute-where Mr Louis drapped a shawl over his head to portray a bride posing with a veil... but I don't think he will appreciate a non-macho picture of him being uploaded online, lol. One thing learnt in the workshop was: accentuate woman's curve & accentuate a man's macho-ness in your images. So, to abide the teachings, I'll leave you an image of the master in coolness action.

Phaik Hwang & Weng Yan: Couple Portraiture

When I was driving to our meetup point, it was pouring like elephants and rhinos. Frankly, I was pretty worried about how the whole photography session will be like. Mud, drenched couple, melting makeup... man, I really didn't want that. I was sure Phaik Hwang was praying as hard as me for the change of weather. And guess what, our prayers came true! When we met, the rain stopped and the sun was back on duty. Though a lil' overcast, I couldn't ask for a better weather and couple to work with.

Phaik Hwang and Weng Yan are such a cute couple. She has a sweet giggle and she was such a sport throughout the session. Weng Yan on the other hand, was soft spoken, but his love for his girl tells it all. Plus, he was game for any poses I suggested. Very cool :)

Phaik Hwang, Weng Yan, I do hope you both enjoyed the session as much as I did!

Heartbeat

At the hospital, when we knew her condition is deteriorating, I suddenly crave to listen to Boonyee's beating heart. At that moment, I realize how precious and wonderful it is to be able to hear your loved one's heart beat; to be able to look into their eyes and have them looking back at you; to be able to talk and laugh with them.

When I stood by her, looking at her, I wanted to follow the elders by calling out her name, asking her to wake up and come back. I couldn't even bring myself to call her, I knew I would break down if I did. I thought and silently pray with all my might while gazing at her intently, hoping she would hear my wishes and encouragement to her. "Don't you want to see your sons go to school?" I asked her quietly. "Don't you want to see them grow up, buy them nice clothes, hug them and put them to bed?", "Don't you want to celebrate more wedding anniversaries with your husband?" As I'm writing this, I thought how silly was I to ask her these questions, of course she wants to watch her two beloved sons grow up. Of course she wants to spend her entire life loving her husband. Of course she wants to live...

When everyone was outside preparing for her discharge, I grabbed her arm and said a silent prayer for her.

I can't imagine the ordeal her husband is going through now and the days ahead. I can't imagine the pain of losing your life partner at a young age. I can't imagine losing a lover, a daughter, a sister. I can't imagine arranging a funeral for a loved one. I really can't and don't want to.

This morning, I took my mom to the Floristika to order flowers for her. We spent almost two hours there because mom suddenly became the wreath purchaser on behalf of most of the uncles and aunties. While we were in the midst of tabulating the information and writing messages, mom cried. For the very first time in my life, I put my arms around my mother's shoulder, consoling her, and sharing her grief.

She Embarked On A New Journey

Of her 28 years of life, she has been a filial daughter that carries out her duties and responsibilities without questions asked; a manja granddaughter who loved my grandmother with all her heart and soul ever since she's a baby; an incredible sister and role model to her siblings-offering unconditional help and shelter throughout the years. More than that, she is a courageous woman who chose to be with her man, her love of her life, her soul mate, even when the whole world went against her decision. It's not an easy thing to go against your family's wishes, but she stood by her decision and never looked back. With determination and patience, she showed the family who he is to her; she made the family realize that the man she chose, is a good and worthy man afterall. She has juggled her responsibilities as a working mother superbly-I heard everyone in her workplace adores her, and her two young sons, both happy and healthy.

She has lived a good life. She has fought a good fight. Her time came sooner than anyone expected. Naturally, we are all grieving that she is no longer with us physically, but I personally feel glad that her sufferings and tormenting stay at the hospital has ended. No more drips, no more injections, no more plugs, no more medication, no more nothing. She is free. She always wanted to be free. Today, the family has lost a gracious and kind soul. Rest in peace Shu Ee 姐姐. I hope you heard my silent thoughts and prayers to you while I hold your arm this evening.

Keeli & Kenneth: ROM

It's been long since I last felt the way I did last night: tossing and turning on bed due to anxiousness. I remember I always felt like that the night before Sports Day.

I made my way to the Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara at Putrajaya. Once setting foot in the vicinity of the building, you can't help but to feel a vibe of excitement and happiness floating around the place. Many soon-to-be-hubby-and-wife were queueing for their number, some of them taking pictures after pictures with their family and friends, some even had two-three photographer following them around! Talk about big project huh. Well, it is afterall a special day-09.09.2009, which Chinese pronunciation sounds like 'ever after' or 'forever'. I stood by a corner just drinking in the scenes... imagining each couple's journey that lead them to this day; pledging their lives to each other forever and always. I was also observing other photographers-how they interact with their clients; how they respond and act. Such a great place to learn new tips & tricks :)

I truly enjoyed the photography session with my Client today. She looked gorgeous in her dress (deep down inside I was screaming, 'SO BEAUTIFUL!' the moment I saw her); her fiance looking handsome in a three piece suit (not everyone can carry off a gold colored vest/tie yo!); her parents appearing shy yet not afraid to show their affection with each other by holding hands from time to time; her jovial father-in-law making small jokes along the way... Apart from the un-merciful weather, I truly enjoyed the session.

Prior to the ROM, my Client has requested for privacy hence no pictures will be uploaded online. Man... I'd have love to share with you the images! You'll definitely agree they looked stunning.

Anyways, here's to Keeli and Kenneth for creating a new chapter in their lives. Thank you both as well for having me there to document your important day! :D

Have a Lil' Faith in Me

* All images belong to Jasemaine Gan. Please do not copy without permission.

I believe to truly love someone, be it your family member, friends or partner, one thing that really sets thing apart is having faith in the person.

When your loved one asks for a favor, you do it without second thoughts. When your loved one tells you something, you believe it without doubts. When your loved one shares happiness with you, you feel equally as happy as them. When your loved one expresses anger or sadness, you feel the urge and intensity to protect them from further harm. When your loved one is in doubt, you channel your positive energy into them, with the sole intention to encourage them and tell them, 'hey, I'm behind you all the way", to remind them that no matter what happens, they'll always have someone to go to; a comfort zone to fall back safely into.

Some people question the existence of religion. Some people question their loved one's love or actions. The frustrating part of all this is, no one can ever truly know another person's heart; there will always be the question of, 'Is it true? Does it exist? Is it real? Can I believe this? Should I believe this?'

Having absolute trust on someone or some things is not easy. But one thing I do know, is focusing on playing your part to the fullest. I have no rights to judge or question. Only He has the right to judge, because He knows best.

Love, To Me Is...

When he gives you a foot rub even though your feet is un-lady like i.e. dusty, cracked heel, dry... you get the idea. Sigh, I don't have sexy legs...

When he gives you a back massage immediately upon request. No questions asked. No unwillingness.

When he tells you repeatedly that he misses you, even though you're away only for a short period.

When he asks for your opinion on something that obviously, matters alot to him, and values your input.

When he acts as my agent/manager who promotes my photography/videography services to his friends. Somehow, this reminds me of how my dad always promotes my song compositions to anyone he talks to. I'd dead embarrassed whenever dad does that because I was never confident of myself. 'They're not interested to know your daughter write songs! Big deal to them dad!', this is what I always had in mind. But somehow, I've learnt to enjoy and appreciate the fact that he does that because he is proud of me. Until today, he still promotes my song... not verbally, but through Facebook, cool huh?!

When I put my hand over his shoulder while he wraps his hand across my waist. I find this amusingly sweet.

When he refills my plate with prawns after prawns until I am satisfied. This occurs normally at wedding dinners, and my plate will always end up with a mountain of prawn shells. Yum!

When he sings to me privately.

When I look back at how far we've come, and knowing we have a road ahead of us.

To be continued...

August in Singapore: Finale

Night Life @ Singapore

*All images belong to Jasemaine Gan. Please do not copy without permission.

After much walking the entire day, my feet were screaming in agony and begging for mercy. But I just had to live up to Erin's spirit of 'maximizing each and every minute of your trip'. Poor Juju had to accompany me when he was obviously very tired from all the walking.

Our final activity for day was to hop on the water taxi a take a quick ride. While waiting for Erin and Yin Yee to arrive, Juju and I took a stroll while searching for the water taxi counter.

Canon 5D MKII ISO put to the test! Some of the following pictures' ISO are as high as 6400 yo!

The Fullerton Hotel facade and river cafe settings looks so romantic huh? Love it. One thing about hotels at Singapore, they all have a touch of grandeur... very, very beautiful.

Our water taxi headed to the much talked about place-Clarke Quay.

So the night ended with yet another long bus ride, doubled with one or two MRT transfers... the part that I dread most frankly. Was dead tired when I got back to Juju's place... speaking of which, did I mention how Juju's aunt set up new curtains and bed sheet when she knew I was coming??! She even went to the extent of preparing an Easylink card for guests like me, preparing breakfast, setting up a clothes hangar for me to hang my wet towel (with hangars!), clean the house (the floor was squeky clean and smooth!) etc. The bed was so soft, topped with a pillow and bolster, a BOLSTER! Ha! You don't get that in hotels... all in all, my stay at Juju's place was first class :)

On my last day in Singapore, we headed off to Wisma Atria (if I remember the name correctly) Orchard Road area to meet up with my high school friend + fiance! It's been ages since I last saw her and it was such a short but sweet meetup. For lunch, I had teppanyaki.... Well, how can I resist rice right? Mmmm...

After buying a box of very expensive chocolate and all, we headed back to Juju's place (another long, looonngg bus ride), picked up my bags and left for the airport. After check in, Juju and I decided to camwhore at the budget terminal. I didn't take a single picture of myself during the entire trip so Juju insist that I have to be in at least one photo. Camwhoring with a huge DSLR is no easy task, but surprisingly the picture turned out well. Holla!

Oh before I forget, this is a picture of a super cute pooch. Juju's neighbour's dog. Such a small pup but he was extremely fierce for his size. When he was bouncing up and down barking at me, he looked sooooo cute and I just had to capture this pic. I don't think he liked that but, too bad, I'm the one with the camera :D

Bye Singapore... you're a stressful country to be in but it's good to see your progress after 13-years.

I took Firefly back to KL. The flight was slightly delayed but all in all everything was smooth. I was a lil' scared during take off and landing because it was somewhat like a small sized propeller plane? It looked like a gust of wind could make it turn off its course or something. And I don't whether it's me or the plane, but I felt Firefly flew very slow... Anyway, one thing to point out is that the budget terminal in Singapore is super nice as compared to KL's budget terminal-LCCT. The Subang airport was good though. Quiet and clean. Me likey.

I shall end this entry with a picture that Juju took. He said he loves images that portrays a mother's love. I thought he captured it perfectly.

Walking out from the terminal to the lobby, I was greeted with a familiar smile... and that to me, was perfect.

August in Singapore: 03

Harbor Front

Right after Esplanade, Juju took me to Harbor Front. It was by far my favorite destination of my Singapore trip. Sea, wind and time to space out.

Singapore is developing like wild bush fire! Everywhere you turn to, you'll see cranes and more cranes.

Somehow the green machine looks like giraffes or brontosaurus.

Spotted alot of cute babies and even doggies strolling by the platform.

Oooh, my personal favorite from Harbor Front series. I notice Singapore has many performance platform. Artist there are so lucky...

PS: The next entry will conclude my Singapore trip! Last! Promise!

August in Singapore: 02

Exploring Esplanade

You know, even though it was a short four days stay in Singapore, I spent RM300+ just on food and transportation alone! What an expensive country to be in...

Started off Saturday morning with a nice breakfast at a neighborhood vegetarian restaurant with Juju. Two hours later, we headed to Sushi Tei to meet up with Erin & friends for lunch.

After lunch, Juju took me to Esplanade, a place I've been wanting to visit for the longest time!

Esplanade is a very artsy place. It's such a great avenue for performers or basically anyone who wishes to showcase their work. I wish one day I'll have the opportunity to perform or showcase my work at Esplanade, that'll be a dream come true.

On the roof top, a graduation portrait session was going on. Man... I can't imagine posing in the robes under the scorching sun! The view up there was great nevertheless. Beautiful place indeed.

Before exiting Esplanade to head to another destination, Juju treated me Haagen Daz ice cream! It's like, what, my second or third time having Haagen Daz? Felt so pampered and luxurious lol. We sat one a bench in a quiet corner, watching passerby, stoning away, having small chats, and enjoying two scoops of very expensive and overly sweet ice cream. Definitely a great way to spend the afternoon...